Tuesday, November 20, 2007

Suicide Squirrels: Terror Level Raised

ASHLAND, Wis. -- A squirrel caused a brief power outage in Ashland today. A spokesman for Xcel Energy said the squirrel made contact with an overhead transformer and knocked out service to 177 costumers Monday. Power was fully restored in just under an hour and crews found the remains of the unfortunate squirrel.

By coincidence, another squirrel got into a substation 40 miles away at Ironwood, Mich., on Monday and caused a temporary outage that affected about 1,400 customers in Ironwood and two nearby communities.

In St. Louis, a third squirrel was blamed for an electrical failure that prompted an early closing of the main campus of
Lewis and Clark Community College on Monday.

*This is no mere coincidence. Although the objective of the squirrel plot is not known, all dogs are being asked to remain vigilant. When encountering a squirrel, all dogs are advised to bark loudly, and to aggressively pursue the potential terrorist.

1 comment:

  1. I knew that these pesky little critters were up to something. They've been terrorizing me for years.
    Last Christmas, my decorations were being destroyed and stolen. I busted one of those anti-Christian terrorists red-pawed with my Christmas goose's dress!
    Thanks for the report! The scope of they're plot is much larger than I'd imagined!!!!