Thursday, January 31, 2008

Wednesday, January 30, 2008

Global Warming Produces Kittens

This week the scientific community announced that Earth is entering a new Geologic Epoch. We have reportedly been in the "Holocene Epoch" for the last 11,500 years, but due largely to increased carbon dioxide output we are now entering into the Anthropocene Epoch. ("anthro" meaning "Human" + "-cene" meaning "new") An age that will usher in new weather patterns and dramatic global change. recently reported that global warming has produced a large unexpected increase in the number of kittens born worldwide.

Could heating the Earth be part of the cat's world domination plot?

Although the Chinese Zodiac names every twelfth year "The year of the Dog," could we be entering the Epoch of the Cat? (a "kitteh-cene" epoch?)

Sunday, January 27, 2008

Dog Dyed Blue; Vows Revenge

Terrier Chatter recently picked up from several websites suggests that there may be a "spectacular attack" being planned against Soprano's actor Joe Gannascoli, who dyed his dog blue before the superbowl.

Dogs from around the country are demanding that the dog be freed, calling his treatment (and captivity in a tasteless suburban home) "inhumane." One source speculates that Pug spiritual leader Ayatollah Mugsy may issue a Fatwa against the man, asking all dog owners to boycott syndicated episodes of the Sopranos... read more

Friday, January 25, 2008

World's Smallest Dog

The Sun: This Chihuahua was recently named the world’s smallest dog by the Guinness Book of Records. It is just smaller than the height of a soda can, but is known to hunt fully grown buffalo. (pictured)

Wednesday, January 23, 2008

Kitteh Spiritual Leader t-shirt

A parody of the Jesus design, show others who your spiritual leader really is with this new t-shirt...

Sunday, January 20, 2008

Monday, January 14, 2008

Cat Speaks Chinese

Possibly inspired by the revolutionary teachings of Chairman Meow, a cat in Changchun city has reportedly begun speaking Chinese. Here is the shocking report:

Pakistan Daily Times

Cat ‘speaks Chinese’ A Chinese grandmother claims her cat can talk. Granny Lv, 70, of Changchun city, says Mimi has become a local celebrity because he can speak Chinese. She said: “I was playing mahjong with friends at home, and suddenly I heard someone call me ‘Laolao’ (Grandma). My first thought was that it was my granddaughter, but she was not at home.”

Lv then realised her pet had made the sound. “When he wakes up and sees nobody around, he’ll say, ‘Where is everyone?’. When we’re playing mahjong, he’ll come over and say, ‘What are you doing?’.” Neighbour Mrs Wang say Mimi’s pronunciation is very clear, but “he sounds like a little girl, although he is a boy”. Daily Times

Thursday, January 10, 2008

Global Warming, Urban Sprawl Charge Iditarod

ANCHORAGE, Alaska - The modern challenges of global warming and population growth are catching up with the world's most famous sled dog race.

Citing a warming climate and sprawling development, officials with the Iditarod Trail Sled Dog Race said Wednesday they were implementing permanent logistical changes that in recent years have become the norm for the March event. (Read More)

Monday, January 07, 2008

Chairman Meow Receives 106% of vote in Primary

AP: Early polls indicate that Chairman Meow has received 106% of the Primary votes in Merrimack County, New Hampshire. A local watchdog group filed papers to protest the results, which they described as "blatantly corrupt," although feline supporters credit Meow's superior brain power and revolutionary ideas for the seemingly impossible numbers.

Pollsters add that Great Leader Chairman Meow has already received "a significant number" of votes for the 2012 election, and that his ideas will shine forever.

Friday, January 04, 2008

Barack Obama: Hoosier Daddy?

AP: Barack Obama surged in the polls Thursday as he gained a last minute endorsement from "Hoosier Kitty," a large Cat Rescue in Iowa.

Hillary Clinton reportedly complained that his last minute speech "no kitten left behind" was "irrelevant to the real issues in America." - A complaint that caused her to drop another 4 points in the polls.

In response to Obama's win, Clinton and the other presidential candidates are reportedly scrambling to address popular issues such as dog healthcare and cat rescue in New Hampshire.